Latvia x Reader (Crackfic)

"Apparently, sunflower~!" Russia chimed in.

"YOURE SO SELF SATISFIED I DONT NEED YOU!

IVE GOT TO BREAK FREE!"

All in a flash, Lithuania 'broke free' and scurried out of the window on all fours The Grudge Girl style. In the far distance, you could hear the chorus of 'We Are The Champions' echo through the scenic route through Mordor. He was determined to meet Queen in the afterlife, huh?

Oh wait, Mordor isn't heaven.

Oh wait, I never watched lord of the rings.

Is that from LOTR?

You're breathing, right now! Believe it or not.

Am I breaking the fourth wall? No. Meh. 

"Alright, so that just happened." You commentated. "Where is Latvia, anyway?" You asked Eduardo.

But no response came.

"Yo, Eduardo? Herro saaan?" You walked over to him and slapped him across the face.

SMACK!

Then, you examined his glasses, and they had a blue screen over them and a flashing text that read EDUARDO HAS STOPPED WORKING. CHROME IS CHECKING FOR A SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM

You nearly screamed, not that Eduardo was most likely dead, but that HE ACTUALLY HAD THE AUDACITY TO BUY GOOGLE FUCKIN GLASSES AND NOT TELL YOU.

A box popped up.

These pages are corrupted. Kill pages? 

You tapped Yes  and with a white flash Eduardo was gone. Probably to Narnia.

"Oh shit. Oh well." You laughed and turned to Russia. "But really, where is Latvia?"

"Behind you~"

You turned around to see Latvia. He was fucking pimped out! He has a velvet king cape, a crown and scepter made of gold, and he has sparkles practically flying off of him.

"Dude, youre decked out. How did that happen?"

"Oh, I withdrew all the money in Russia's bank account."

You stared at him in disbelief. "So youre now king of the baltics AND Russia?" You questioned.

"Mmhm~"

"Aaand, I won't tell authorities about how you stole money from Russia's bank account if you make me your queen~"

He smiled. "Deal."

"But sunflower-"

You gave Russia a death glare. "Silence, peasant."